


Thoughts

by GraceWasHereToo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:11:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8001457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraceWasHereToo/pseuds/GraceWasHereToo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake comforts a drunk Roxy on a rooftop and a one-sided feelings jam ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thoughts

“Roxy!” he called from somewhere just beyond your current radius of better judgment. “Roxy? Where are you?” You could just make out his head through the hazy glass as the door knob jostled under his teasing. Had you locked it? You tried to focus on letting the void swallow up the door, but you were too far gone. Anyway, it didn’t matter; there was a distinctive click as he came striding in. And then half-way out. He practically tripped over his own feet, not knowing whether to move forward or back. You giggled.

“Rox- Oh my- For goodness’ sake, Roxy, could you please warn a fellow before getting all gobsmacked plastered, running up to the roof tops, and doing… whatever it is you seem to be doing?” He was angry, you knew, but it was kind of funny seeing him get so bashful over something like this.

“What does it seem like I’m doing, Mister Upside Down Man?” you chided.

“You know perfectly well.” He was full on blushing now. Practically glowing in the dark as if he were just another one of the city’s many lights. “Honestly, I can’t talk to you like this.” And with that, he swiped off his glasses.

You let your disapproval be known as you swung your legs a bit to regain your balance. Handstands were no easy feat when one was “gobsmacked plastered”, after all.

“You know, juts ‘cause you tack your glasses off doesn’t mean you aren’t still peeping a look-see,” you giggled. You just loved it when his tan skin turned such a brilliant red. And he didn’t seem to let you down.

“And you know that I’m as blind as a bat without my glasses. So there.” He looked real proud of himself for that come back.

“Blind as a bat?” you echoed. You gasped dramatically and swung back down into an upright position, letting your skirt fall where it may while embracing yourself in what you hoped was a seductive “Marilyn Monroe”-esque over the shoulder expression. Old school beauty was never your thing. “Do you mean to tell me that you’ve been checking me out using sonic waves this whole time? Shame on you, Jake English. You’re turning into a real pervert, nowadays.”

“Wh- I-I-I am not!” he protested. Trying to put distance between the two of you, he managed to stumble over an empty flower pot. Now why was that there? You went to go help him up but only managed to stumble over your own feet. The whole thing seemed to just make you upset. You weren’t angry at falling. Or were you? Honestly you didn’t know what you were anymore. And you clearly didn’t care.

Deciding he had better not fall victim to poor sight again, Jake put back on his glasses only to find you crying full force in silence beside yourself.

“Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?” You didn’t know what he was going on about. Of course you didn’t hurt yourself. You were perfectly fine. You tried to swat him away but you found you didn’t really have much strength left after that handstand. How long had you been hiding up here anyways?

“Roxy,” he sighed lightly while wrapping you into his arms. He never finished the thought. The two of you just sat there in the cold dark of the night, listening to the cars and sirens of the city. The noise always reminded you you weren’t alone. You liked that about the city. You must have been thinking out-loud because Jake agreed, too. You decided to keep thinking out-loud.

You thought about how you missed living with Rose, but how you understood she needed her space, now. You thought about how you wished you and Dave hung out more but that he was always too busy. How he was becoming such a great man and making so many new friends and just being a great addition to society the way you never would be. You thought about how happy he and Jade were even after the breakup. 

Jake agreed to that, too. 

You decided to think about how awesome his kids were. You thought about how awesome John had been with Rose, lately. How he was really such a big help and a true friend for supporting her the way he did. How he never judged her or made her feel bad about her past. How he just seemed to want to understand how hard things were for her right now. You thought about how hard it must have been for him, too. 

Jake agreed with that, too. 

You thought about how cool Jade’s computers were. You thought about how nice it was working with her for that short time when she was just getting started. How she was really growing up from that goofy kid you all came to know her as into this big time business woman. How she was getting just as beautiful as Jane…

Jake agreed with that, too.

For some reason… you didn’t like that thought anymore.

You decided to think about something else.

You wanted to “thought” about Jane, now. 

So you thought about how the two of you were the bestest of friends. You thought about how the two of you would do anything for each other. You thought about how proud you were that your BFFsie was proving to be the best Crocker in history to run her family business. You thought about how happy her being happy made you. You thought about how the two of you would be friends forever, no matter what… No matter what. You thought about that for a long time, only this time “in-loud”. 

Jake seemed to agree with that, but then changed his mind when you didn’t say anymore.

You thought about Jane. (Out-loud this time.) You thought about what she had told you today… 

Jake didn’t say anything to that. 

So you kept on thinking.

You thought about how when you were younger, the two of you used to tell each other everything. You thought about how silly you were. You thought about how Jane promised she’d marry Jake and you’d marry Dirk and everything would just be so perfect. You thought about how the two of you used to just stay up late and talk about what you’d name your kids, what they’d look like, and promising to babysit for one another. You thought about how you’d giggle all through the night like the school girls you were, knowing full well it’d probably never happen. You thought about how ironic that it sort of did? 

Jake didn’t say anything to that, either.

You thought about the time you were just sooooooo wasted and heartbroken and Jane just let you cry and cry and cry on video chat. You thought about how that was the day you realized Dirk was gay and that it was definitely never going to happen. You thought about how you couldn’t even tell Jane why you were so upset because that just made you more upset, but at yourself.

Jake had nothing to say to this, either.

So you kept on thinking.

You thought about how Jane cried and cried and cried when Jake started dating Dirk. How you were the “good friend” then. You thought maybe the two of you cried too much over something like that, but that it was good to let it out and maybe, then, not “too much”, but “just enough”? You thought about how you had comforted Jane. How you had told her how pretty she was, how lucky any guy would be to get with her, how she’d meet prince charming one day and have like a gazillion babies with him.

Jake had nothing to say to that, either.

You thought about what you told Jane. How she really was beautiful, and kind. How she was always just so thoughtful; put together, too. You thought about how you were really nothing like her at all…

Jake said nothing to that, either.

But Jane really was a stunner. Really. Leave it to Jane to look like a glamour model. A regular pin-up, jaw dropper she was. 

Yep, you thought. 

Nothing like you, you thought.

Jake said nothing to that.

And then another thought came out.

Maybe that was the reason Dirk chose her? You thought.

Jake said nothing.

You said nothing.

But you thought it.


End file.
